I had a friend of a friend call me today- about life coaching. (I love it when I get word of mouth referrals) Anyhow, of course we do the initial 10-15 minute introduction to each other, etc. This girl is 56 years old. We will call her Betsy.
Usually, when people want and or feel they are ready for a coach, there is usually more than one issue at hand that they are seeking guidance for. NOT this girl! It’s ALL about the SELF_ESTEEM ISSUE with her. She feels as if, she can get back some self esteem, everything else will fall into place, and ya know what, I truly believe that’s true. Because it ALL starts there.
So anyway, I have been getting things together and working with this issue all day, so I thought I would share just a few thoughts I have on this.
IN order to learn who you really are, You have to learn who YOU ARE NOT. Like Sera Beak says (: It is NOT always pretty, not always fun. The truth will set you free, but it can hurt like 1000 bee stings and a bad colonic( www.serabeak.com)
Self esteem issues, are sometimes not really self –esteem issues, but what I call “soul issues” I feel, that if you TRULY< WILLINGLY< HONESTLY< PASSIONATELY KNOW yourself, I betcha that those self esteem “monsters will be GONE. Or they will be on their way out the door very soon.
Sure, this takes time, TRUST me, been there. You just need to get in the RING with those nasty mean monsters and fight all the negative self talk, etc… Your soul is stronger than those meanies.
You WILL win. Like I said, it doesn’t happen overnight. Takes time, and a lot of times, many many tears, but tears are CLEANSING To the soul. Just remember that. It will hurt like hell, but believe me, you will feel better.
Warning you though… Your personality will change. It will change for the better. You may want to tell your family members and close friends, that you are about to embark on a life changing journey. A journey that will lead you to idealistic euphoria.
There is so much more I can say here, and I really want to, but just a few basics for now.
- Learn to accept compliments. This was really hard for me for so long. When someone compliments, smile and say “thank you” no “ oh, well, I usually look better,” or “ well, thought I was having a bad hair day, It usually does better, etc… We have all been there and done it. But we want to keep the positive with us, and when you reply with something like that, it puts negative energy in our minds, in our way of thinking.
Make lists of all your positives. – This may take a few days, but I am sure you will come up with many. List also, why you believe these are positive attributes! For example: I have great legs, a pretty smile, nice hair, etc… a heart of gold, name everything, even if just comes down to the little things, like nice nails, or great boobs even! Name anything and everything! You are a goddess, you were born one, so let yourself shine.
Stop putting yourself down. People with low self esteem, tend to do this daily, many times a day. Look back at all those positive attributes, go online and find some positive affirmations or make a list of 10 things your INNER MONSTERS keep telling you, then turnt hem around into something positive. Create your own inspiration., tape them to your bathroom mirror, on your fridge, wherever, and repeat them to yourself thru out the day. Don’t let those inner mean monsters tell you anything negative. When a negative thought or emotion comes over you, just yell “STOP” and it will go away. When you show these monsters, that you mean business, and you start to become stronger and stronger, they will leave, as I mentioned before.
Do something new! Is there something that you have thought about doing, that you may enjoy, and just haven’t done it? Take dance lessons, take tennis lessons, or get a gym membership. Anything... When you exercise, you feel better. Like to be creative? Buy some craft things, and go for it. Draw, paint, scrapbook, whatever. Get out of the daily routine and DO SOMETHING exiting and new. FOR YOU…. If you do not take care of yourself, respect and love yourself, no one is going to do it for you. Sorry, but that’s a true fact.
If you want or need to talk more about self-confidence, self-esteem, goal setting, etc… Please do not hesitate to email me.
Like I mentioned before, lots of stay I can say about this issue, but must get to work for now!
Hugs and Fairydust,